Gen X, Elder Millennials: Let’s Talk Midlife Rebirth, Shall We?
Hey, remember when we were growing up and midlife was seen as little more than a wacky, crisis-laden chapter of life?
Sheesh, I do.
It turns out the whole concept of the "midlife crisis” was introduced in the 1960s by psychologist Elliott Jaques who was 48 at the time. By the 1970s and 1980s Jacques’ concept had been reinforced by media portrayals and cultural expectations.
Imagery of grown people grappling with their own mortality and (almost exclusively) making irrational decisions was everywhere. There were usually some impulsive purchases, drastic career changes, or unexpected relationship upheavals for good measure.
For women in particular, midlife was (and still is) reduced to anxiety and grief, loss of vitality, perhaps shifting family dynamics, and the end of reproductive years. While these challenges are real and significant, they do not have to define the midlife experience. Isn’t there more to this pivotal time in our lives? I’m gonna say: absolutely.
While the dominant narrative has changed a bit for the better, it hasn’t nearly shifted enough to highlight the opportunities for soulful reassessment, transformation and even rebirth these years offer.
That’s what I’m hoping we can talk about now. Because believe it or not, midlife is a gift. Dare I say it, midlife is magical.
Don’t Believe the Hype: Embracing Midlife Rebirth
So here you are in your 40s, 50s - however you define midlife for you. You’ve lived enough to, for the most part, know how to do life … and you’re wondering what’s next. Congratulations! This is a big deal!
For every woman that’s reading this there will be a unique experience that encompasses loss, love, success, failure, illness, vitality and so on. This time in life is a reckoning. Now is a time to sit with all the feelings, thoughts and experiences and reflect. This is not always an easy process, but it is a transformative one.
Time to Choose Your Own Adventure
Rediscovery of self, as well as exploring spirituality are amongst the most common themes that my clients bring when their seeking support during their midlife transformation.
It’s common to ask the big questions, while taking inventory of the journey thus far: Who do I want to be now? What am I interested in? What is my purpose/calling? What do I value and believe?
Authenticity is the name of the game here. And after spending most of their lives conforming to different roles and expectations, many women I work with report a feeling of liberation and sovereignty they’ve never experienced.
My clients are also looking at their relationships, after all as humans we are wired for connection. All types of relationships, including relationship to self, spirit, body, romantic, familial, platonic, community are game. Often there is healing work do be done here and it may be the first time a woman may have the space to ask: What do I need in this relationship? And what am I willing to give? Here, we explore boundaries, desires, needs, sexuality, love.
I want to emphasize that having a therapist, coach, community, a/o support network is hugely helpful for this type of work. While our midlife work is exciting and powerful, it can also feel overwhelming and isolating at times. Support is key.
Therapy with me may entail talking through and unpacking some of these big questions, utilizing expressive arts to go deeper, or utilizing psychospiritual tools like tarot or guided meditation to access your own inner wisdom. I’m here for it, the laughter and the tears, and to celebrate your successes along the way.
Support for women’s healing, growth + Wellness in California
I believe personal healing is a revolutionary act. I say it often. And in these (continued) turbulent times, I believe it now more than ever. Reframing the midlife crisis as a midlife rebirth offers a more positive and empowering perspective. By focusing on self-discovery, new opportunities, health and well-being, strengthening relationships, and personal growth, women can navigate this period with optimism and purpose.
Midlife can be a time of significant transformation, where the seeds of earlier life are harvested, and new beginnings are cultivated. Embracing midlife rebirth allows women to see this stage not as an end, but as a vibrant and fulfilling new chapter in their lives.
If you think Feminist Therapy might be right for you, I’m here to support. Here are a couple of steps to move forward …
Schedule a free initial consultation here
Of if you have questions … Let's chat.I’m happy to answer any questions you have.
Also please know there are directories where you may seek out other feminist therapists in your area. Inclusive Therapist and Therapy Den are two great places to start.
